I Can See You (The Gods Made Me Do It Book 5) Page 7

“And we have a thousand lifetimes to do it in.” Silvanus’s stomach rumbled, but he pushed his thoughts of sustenance aside. Kissing his new mate, until he could no longer feel the hurt through their bond was a far better way of passing the time.

  Chapter Eleven

  Artemas ran his thumbs under his suspenders and pushed his glasses more firmly onto his nose. It felt strange, wearing something other than shorts as he had for the past week, but one did not visit the Fates with bare legs and flip flops. His charcoal gray suit pants were crisply pressed, his pale blue shirt was equally starched, and his suspenders had black leather ends, matching his highly polished shoes.

  As he settled the jacket over his shoulders, Artemas accepted the clothing for what it was. His armor. His shield against the world and their judging ways. No matter how powerful Silvanus might think he was, Artemas always knew he was the unwanted, illegitimate child who resulted from a hook up done on a bet. Thoth’s only reason for carrying him to term was probably so as not to anger the very people he was about to see. Thoth had perhaps hoped for more offspring, which he went on to have with at least three wives Artemas was aware of. He didn’t throw any of them away, Artemas thought bitterly.

  “You look amazing. Are you ready to go?” Turning, Artemas saw Silvanus was dressed more simply than he was although he still cut a commanding figure. Navy blue dress pants had been teamed with a plain white linen shirt which had been left open at the neck offsetting Silvanus’s natural tan. A simple leather tie kept Silvanus’s hair off his face complementing the casually elegant look. Artemas wondered if he was overdressed.

  “You look pretty good yourself.” Artemas managed a terse smile. “Is it okay to say I’m nervous? Some of my personal rantings against the Fates weren’t complimentary when I realized the gods were being targeted with true mates.”

  Striding across the room, Silvanus took his hands, which was helpful because it stopped Artemas from fidgeting. “The Fates don’t spend all their time, rearranging the tapestries just to take revenge on petty grievances. I’m sure everyone has cursed them at one point in their lives. What many people don’t realize, and I include most gods in this, is that the Fates’ overriding concerns are about the tapestry as a whole. They see the bigger picture, and they often have to make challenging decisions to keep the flow of life going.”

  “When Claude first claimed Poseidon, father swore black and blue the Fates only did it because he sunk Atlantis.”

  “I remember that time,” Silvanus chuckled, “and no, the Fates weren’t happy about that because of all the lives that were lost, suddenly becoming dolphins instead of men. The hole in the tapestry caused by that event would have been huge. But even so, Claude and Sei’s mating was not a curse on either of them, and neither was mine to you. You are my promise from them, something I will spend eternity being grateful for.”

  “For someone who claims he doesn’t have a way with words, you do have the ability to make me blush,” Artemas said, looking down at their joined hands. Silvanus was solid, dependable. Artemas could feel it through their bond. “Shall we do this then? Although, I confess, I’m unsure how to ask the Fates to leave off giving us children. The idea of talking about procreation prevention with the beings responsible for the length of a person’s thread, is not something I ever thought I’d have to do.”

  “We can only ask, respectfully, and with an open heart,” Silvanus said gently. “They know our histories. I’m sure this is just a formality.”

  Trusting his mate’s word, Artemas inhaled slowly as his molecules broke down and they translocated.

  /~/~/~/~/

  Silvanus was a rare visitor to the Fates’ realm, although when the world was new, there was a lot more interaction among the pantheons. As their bodies reformed in the glade favored by the sisters, he could see they’d been expected. Instead of the bubbling cauldron and the tapestry draped across the knees of three women of very distinct ages, the sisters had chosen to come together as one look. In this form, they were ageless identical triplets, clothed in simple white shifts that seemed to flow around them, despite Silvanus feeling no sign of a breeze.

  “Silvanus. Artemas. Why did you seek an audience with us today?” It was disconcerting, watching three mouths work, when only one voice was heard.

  “My ladies.” Silvanus bowed deeply and noticed Artemas did the same. “I came to give thanks for the promise you gave me. My mate graciously allowed me to claim him and has been gifted with carrying the Tree of Life from our blessed Mother. We came to ask, if it was possible to forestall any possible offspring for a while, until we’ve had a chance to bond more fully. With him carrying the tree, and the life force I have, any coupling of an intimate nature could result in a pregnancy we don’t believe we’re emotionally ready for yet.”

  “No one is emotionally ready to become a parent.” Once again, all three spoke with one voice. “Even those who plan and scheme and pray for a swell in their belly, are ill-equipped to deal with the offspring when they arrive. It is the nature of life and one that individuals can learn a lot from.”

  “My ladies,” Artemas bowed low again, although his back was ramrod straight. “I know full well you are aware of the hesitation I had in taking any mate and yet Silvanus was put in my path anyway. I’m not upset with your choice for me. Once Silvanus and I had a chance to converse, claiming was a natural progression from there. But with both of us being in the god line, there are certain elements in our intimate relations we don’t risk doing, because of the risk of pregnancy. It is not that I don’t want children one day – I cared for my brothers for years when my father couldn’t. But it’s not something I can see us doing right now.”

  “What about Silvanus’s wishes? Aren’t they important too?” The Fates asked. “He has waited countless years before you were even a speck on the horizon of life, to have a loving partner and children of his own. Would you deny him that wish? Are you so intent on your selfish ways, you would break Silvanus’s heart every day you are childless?”

  “Wait. What? No.” Silvanus felt as though he’d been slapped around the face. Artemas’s face was white. “You have no right to guilt my mate this way. That’s not how things are at all.”

  “We speak the truth, do we not?” The Fates’ expressions didn’t flicker. “Or do you forget our meeting when you begged to be released from the tapestry because you didn’t have the partner and children you craved? You wept with the loneliness of your existence, and swore you couldn’t go on until you had a mate and babes in your arms.”

  “I did that, I know that. But things have changed,” Silvanus said desperately. “My mate has issues with his own parents, and has spent a lifetime alone. How can you expect him to raise a child when he still feels abandoned by Thoth? How can you consider blessing us with offspring of our own, when only this morning Poseidon hurt him yet again? I know what I asked for. I know what’s in my heart, but I would never push my mate into something he wasn’t ready for.”

  “So, it’s true.” Artemas’s tone was devoid of emotion. “Your promise from the Fates was a package deal. A mate and children. That’s why you were given a male from the god line.”

  Silvanus couldn’t lie. “That is what I asked for, yes, but Artemas, the moment we met, you talked honestly about how you felt regarding mating and children. I respected that. I do respect that. Why do you think we’re standing here now?”

  “Because you wanted someone else to tell me what you could not.” Bitterness tinged Artemas’s words and their bond. “Because you are the higher being, your rights come first. The Fates themselves have confirmed it. You came into existence first, you’re the older and more powerful entity. The Fates ignored my wishes completely and bound me to you, with the full expectation of me providing you with the bundles of joy you long for. They probably thought I’d be grateful for the attention. Well, you’ll all be disappointed.”

  Artemas raised his arms, and for a split second Silvanus could see his resemblance to Poseidon. Tha
t was reinforced when Artemas spoke. “Hear me speak, for I am Artemas, son of Poseidon and Thoth. An illegitimate half-breed of the Greek and Egyptian pantheons who was conceived on a bet between Zeus and his brother. I have lived with this damning legacy for millenniums, confronting my lack of worth every single day of my existence. No more. I will not be treated as though my wishes don’t matter. Do what you have to do ladies, I don’t care. I refuse to be coerced in this way and if that means staying away from Silvanus, then so be it. I am not a rent-a-womb. I am not a puppet to be abused in this way. I am a god and I will not allow this to happen. Weave your threads, cut mine, if that is your wish, lord knows my heart broke at the treachery I’ve witnessed here today.”

  “Artemas, no.” Silvanus tried to hold him, but Artemas pushed him away. “Please, we can work this out.”

  “There is nothing to work out. The Fates have spoken. My life meant so little to them, they just assumed I would breed for their design and your pleasure. Well they can cut my thread. Remove my existence from the tapestry. I would rather cease to exist than be coerced in this way. The promise you were given was clearly not me.”

  “Artemas, NO!” Silvanus’s roar shook the trees, but it made no difference. Artemas disappeared in a defiant mist of salt spray that settled over the glade. “How could you?” Silvanus clenched his fists as he faced the sisters who’d expressions still hadn’t changed. “You knew before we got here what we wanted. I assured Artemas this was just a formality, that you would gladly resist from adding threads to our newly formed bond until we were ready. The only reason I wanted this audience was to give thanks in person for ending my lonely days. And you’ve stripped it all away. With one ill-placed comment you’ve destroyed the promise you made to me. What did I ever do to deserve this?”

  The three faces glanced at each other, their bodies immobile except for the gentle swaying of their gowns. “It appears we made an error in judgement,” they said finally. “The tapestry needed expanding as the earth population grows, and we have urgent need for more god threads to strengthen the weave. The depths of Artemas’s insecurities and lack of worth is something he’s kept well hidden from us. We believed him to be like his father, Poseidon, and that he would settle into his role once he realized what was expected of him.”

  “He is nothing like Poseidon and you of all people should have known that.” Silvanus’s heart could barely function. All he wanted was to go to Artemas and beg forgiveness – to kiss his lips until the man smiled, and assure him of his eternal love and devotion. But what would be the point? Silvanus knew it would be hopeless trying to convince his mate the children concept didn’t matter, when the Fates themselves told Artemas he’d been paired off purely because he could bear children.

  “We cannot remove him from the tapestry.” The Fates seemed agreed on that point. “His influence on his brothers is too welded into who they are. His logic, his reasoning, the findings he’s made over his existence are all valid parts of a whole that can’t be undone. Even if we had all the gods’ threads we needed, we couldn’t remove Artemas’s from what we’ve done so far. The only thing we can do is break the mating and pair you with another.”

  “How could you be so callous?” Silvanus couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Is that the only reason you considered giving me a mate at all – so I’d conceive more threads for your weave? I thought our history deserved better than that. How the hell do you expect me to raise children with someone I can’t share a heart with? What would happen to Artemas if the mating is broken?”

  Silvanus wasn’t sure he could stomach the idea of ever being with another person, now he’d met the son of the sea. Even if he walked the earth alone for eternity, Silvanus would never forget the warmth of Artemas’s rare smiles, and the heat of his body writhing against his. “He matters in this,” Silvanus continued angrily. “Don’t you get it? Artemas is the only one who’s important here. It’s bad enough you’ve devastated him already. I won’t allow you to hurt him any further.”

  “Ah.” The three voices sighed. “You love him already, which is what we’d hoped for.”

  “I do.” Silvanus knew it in his soul. The times he’d spent watching his mate unobserved. The fragileness of Artemas’s confidence, covered in a hardened shell. The dreams the man held in his damaged heart and had never voiced to another being. Artemas was perfect for him, there was no mistaking that. “You will not separate us. I will not allow it. There are plenty of other gods who’d readily have more offspring to provide the frame of your weave. Most of them wouldn’t know what a condom was if one bit them on the ass.”

  Was that a lip twitch? Silvanus wasn’t sure, but he hadn’t finished. “You admit you made a mistake and for that you owe us a favor. You are going to ensure Artemas and I do not form another life together until we tell you we’re ready. I don’t know when that will be, and I don’t care. I’m going to go and grovel, beg, and do all I can to show that man he’s worthy of being loved. Because he is. He is worthy of respect and love, and you should’ve proved that to him when I brought him before you.”

  “Your favor is granted. You have our deepest apologies. We will not interfere again.” The three women disappeared as one, leaving Silvanus alone in the glade. At any other time, the greenery around him and the lilting call of birdsong would have soothed his soul. But for now, all he could think about was finding Artemas and he knew that wasn’t going to be easy. Up to this point, Artemas had never known Silvanus was looking for him, which was why Silvanus had been able to stalk him as he had done. But with his magic and the power from the tree of life, it wouldn’t be hard for the son of Thoth and Poseidon to hide himself, if that was his intention.

  Chapter Twelve

  “Artemas. By the fates, what’s wrong? You look like you’ve come through a tornado backwards.” Orin put down his book and jumped up from his chair, as Artemas looked around stunned. For some random reason, he’d translocated to Thor’s apartment in Manhattan.

  “I’m so sorry,” he said, touching his head, wondering if he’d hit it on something. “I wasn’t thinking. I must have taken a wrong turn somewhere.” That was an understatement, one he would examine later. “I won’t disturb you any further. Enjoy your afternoon.” Artemas pulled himself together to disappear again.

  “Wait.” Orin grabbed his arm. “I haven’t seen you looking so upset since my book tried to zap your ass. Sit for a minute. Thor is resting, we won’t be disturbed. Please.”

  Something about the “please” touched a part of Artemas’s soul. He was shattered. Raw emotions coursed through his body – anger, pain, but mostly deep searing hurt. His thread couldn’t be cut, he knew that. And he doubted the Fates would rip his thread from the tapestry. It was the thread of the gods’ lives that formed the main frame for the weave all life depended on.

  But if anyone could break a mating, it was the Fates. Any minute now, Artemas expected to feel a void where the humming presence of his mate lurked deep in the back of his brain. He expected the faint prickle of energy he was getting used to on his back to dissipate. For less than twenty four hours he’d felt what it was likely to be truly connected to someone. And now… it was in the hands of the Fates.

  “Come and talk to me about it. I’m guessing you came here because we’re friends and you look like you need one. You know I can keep a secret.” Orin sat in the seat beside him and took his hand. Artemas’s instinct was to pull away, but he didn’t want to be rude. Orin’s bright and sunny nature brightened the library under the sea many times. Although, he hadn’t seen the man for over a month, Orin still acted as though Artemas popping into the apartment was a commonplace occurrence, although it was the first time he’d been there. Artemas realized outside of his family, he didn’t have anyone who accepted him so readily, which meant Orin was right.

  “I had a fated mate,” he said haltingly. “For fifteen hours and thirty two minutes I had a wonderful mate who seemed to understand me. And now he’s gone. I left him.”
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  “Oh, Artie,” Orin’s arms encircled his waist and Artemas found himself the recipient of a hug. “You tell us who he is, and I’ll get Thor to bash some sense into him.”

  “I can do my own bashing, thank you.” Artemas patted Orin’s arm awkwardly. “It’s not as though he even did anything wrong. I just… I just… I can’t be what he needs. I can’t be the person he was promised.” And fuck, if that wasn’t the most painful thing of all.

  “Talking in riddles is fine for the ancients, but we’re in modern times,” Orin said pertly. “I’m going to need more details than that. Explain.”

  And to his surprise, Artemas found himself opening up and telling Orin everything. Tracking down Silvanus’s book, which Orin expressed jealousy over, the stalking on Silvanus’s part, which Orin thought was romantic, their claiming and how they couldn’t do some things, Artemas wasn’t specific, and finally the meeting with the Fates.

  “Damn those Fates,” Orin shook his fist at the ceiling, his lips curled in a snarl reminiscent of his sand cat form. “They knot people together, willy-nilly without any thought about if the couple have got major differences in the way they want to live their lives.”

  “The mated couples I’d met so far all seem happy enough,” Artemas pointed out, trying to be fair. “I suppose that’s why I let down my guard and Silvanus walked into my arms. But we talked about children, before the claiming. I let him know then I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be ready. At least not in the foreseeable future. Now all I can think is that he lied to me about being prepared to wait just to make his claim on my body, and only took me to the Fates so they’d tell me I had no choice.”

  “From what you’ve said, the ancient one Silvanus isn’t like that. I mean, people change their minds. I’m not saying Silvanus doesn’t want kids. Clearly, when he went to the Fates initially and they promised him a mate, children would’ve been important to him as part of the package. But who’s to say he didn’t change his mind later when you two finally talked?”